Talk or Do?

I’m getting the itchy and restless feeling again. I don’t know what it is but there’s something that tells me I need to do something. I need to fucking make something. I want to make something. I’d like to make something! But there’s only one thing stopping me from doing or making anything! Firstly money! I’m probably the brokest kid from the burbs alive.

Money is the most elusive article in my life. I just don’t know how to make any. I remember thinking at some stage of my life that some bold headed jewish guy was going to show me the way to make the gold but alas was once again reduced to the dop system and had to fight to get scraps for shit I did for him. Then I moved onto an internship and fucked up a job that I was being groomed for. Then there was the stay at home situation where I sat at home and just tried to get fat off the free food. Now I’m working another internship where at least I’m being given a monthly allowance. Thing is the place is not giving me a sense of fulfillment. I just wanna create. I’m really tired of putting shit together to aid middle class old white people choose their best vacation options. I just wanna fucking create.

I kinda wish that the department of Arts and Culture was an actual department in government that encouraged uncontrolled creativity. I kinda wish that there were motherfuckers in South Africa that understood the value behind making cool shit beyond advertising. I kinda wish that there was a bored motherfucker with a squizmillion in his pocket waiting to off load that shit to someone who had the simple intention of making cool shit. I kinda wish that my friends and I could be given that squizmillion and get paid to talk and make shit.

I then realize that I don’t necessarily deserve all the shit that I kinda want. Cause I haven’t done enough. I haven’t executed half the ideas I’ve had this year. Some of them haven’t even started. I haven’t made anything that has made anyone’s mind bug before exploding; leaving bits of their brain cells in my open mouth at their reception of my creation. I haven’t proven that I’m able to stand heads above motherfuckers yet. I haven’t even put the right shoes on to run the fucking race. All of that and the fact that I stay drunk.

Is this the voice of the world’s worst hangover? A toast to everyone out there actually creating instead of smack talking about how they think it could be done better. Shut the fuck up, do and show.