I'm having a little too much fun out on tour and finding the story a bit hard to write ‘cause all these motherfuckers are genuinely nice people. No cocaine. No violence. No RACISM and we slept in Bloem for Christ's sake!
Our driver seems to be a real G though! No fucking doubt about it. Homey just dropped word that he's an emotionally stunted motherfucker.
Why?
20 years of being a prison warden, he decided ‘fuck this rap game (Fuck Rick Ross!)” then tried running a Simple Simon Pies franchise, lost 150K, drove trucks and now runs his own shit.
He's rather unassuming. Just a rotund Afrikaans man with glasses. Until he starts talking about the shit he's seen, saying things like, "And then you want to talk about human rights! These aren't people. They're animals!" and laughs inappropriately about the good days they had while he worked in prisons, which involved beating the savages into submission.
Our driver seems to be a real G though! No fucking doubt about it. Homey just dropped word that he's an emotionally stunted motherfucker.
Why?
20 years of being a prison warden, he decided ‘fuck this rap game (Fuck Rick Ross!)” then tried running a Simple Simon Pies franchise, lost 150K, drove trucks and now runs his own shit.
He's rather unassuming. Just a rotund Afrikaans man with glasses. Until he starts talking about the shit he's seen, saying things like, "And then you want to talk about human rights! These aren't people. They're animals!" and laughs inappropriately about the good days they had while he worked in prisons, which involved beating the savages into submission.
"The problem is that back then the wardens knew where they stood and the prisoners understood where they were... Now no one knows what they're supposed to be doing."
Adam (Bateleur) should have been the writer for this trip. He's prompted this whole discussion and I happened to walk in on it.
Apparently there was a case when 26 dudes got locked into a cell one night and when roll call was taken the next day there were only 25 in the cell. All the dudes were in for the long haul and murder was common. All the prison wanted was the body and not having to try explain paranormal activities to the bureaucratic channels. After an exhaustive search of the entire prison they finally caved in and called in forensic detectives.
Ultimately, we’re just a country suffering protracted PTSD I guess.
"I sat there thinking, another fifteen years of this then I can only get my pension. I spoke to my wife. Told everyone I was done, they even laughed at me saying I was never going to do anything else. Next I handed in my resignation."
And now for a word from out sponsors:
Biggups to Bateleur, Christian Tiger School and The Frown!!!
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