Passing The Time

 I'm having a little too much fun out on tour and finding the story a bit hard to write ‘cause all these motherfuckers are genuinely nice people. No cocaine. No violence. No RACISM and we slept in Bloem for Christ's sake!

Our driver seems to be a real G though! No fucking doubt about it. Homey just dropped word that he's an emotionally stunted motherfucker.

Why?

20 years of being a prison warden, he decided ‘fuck this rap game (Fuck Rick Ross!)” then tried running a Simple Simon Pies franchise, lost 150K, drove trucks and now runs his own shit.

He's rather unassuming. Just a rotund Afrikaans man with glasses. Until he starts talking about the shit he's seen, saying things like, "And then you want to talk about human rights! These aren't people. They're animals!" and laughs inappropriately about the good days they had while he worked in prisons, which involved beating the savages into submission.

"The problem is that back then the wardens knew where they stood and the prisoners understood where they were... Now no one knows what they're supposed to be doing."

After a story and little chuckle about opening a solid security gate to be stared down by a severed head stuck between the bars, he goes on to tell us that some people are made for it and some people aren't.

Adam (Bateleur) should have been the writer for this trip. He's prompted this whole discussion and I happened to walk in on it.

"Look people are different. I've seen wardens and prisoners lose they're minds. I mean the stuff you're seeing everyday! That's why you hear that wardens drink a lot. JA!"

Apparently there was a case when 26 dudes got locked into a cell one night and when roll call was taken the next day there were only 25 in the cell. All the dudes were in for the long haul and murder was common. All the prison wanted was the body and not having to try explain paranormal activities to the bureaucratic channels. After an exhaustive search of the entire prison they finally caved in and called in forensic detectives.

Under the U.V light the blood shone bright in the toilets. Apparently dudes got GOT(!) then had his bones completely shattered, followed by being cut up into a million little pieces before being flushed out to sea. Silence is the code: we'll never know why. My guess... something to pass the time. Validating their skill. How do you hone your craft without practice?

Ultimately, we’re just a country suffering protracted PTSD I guess.

"I sat there thinking, another fifteen years of this then I can only get my pension. I spoke to my wife. Told everyone I was done, they even laughed at me saying I was never going to do anything else. Next I handed in my resignation."

I'm handing in my resignation. We're all fucked up in one way or other. I would only disagree with Sean and say that. They are the humans fucked up by us, the sanctimonious monsters. "Cause human's tell the truth even when they lie." Scarface fuck up.

And now for a word from out sponsors:

Biggups to Bateleur, Christian Tiger School and The Frown!!!