Dear Mr. Left
Greetings to you and yours, I
trust that you are well. I’ve become aware that you might be somewhat irritated
by me and mine. Not necessarily mine but more me. I hear that there are a lot
of mine that you’d prefer to chill with rather than me, as my manner of speech
and topics of conversation are truly problematic in their radicalism. I had no
idea that I was in any way a radical or a scary conversationalist, and so to try
and fix this problem I understand that I owe you an apology. So to you Mr. Left
I say: I’m sorry.
I apologise for not for not
understanding how to use the social network properly. I had forgotten that Zuckerberg had designed it to simply be a dating site and that Twitter is to
only share meaningless daily chores or have public conversation in a 140
characters or less. I apologise for not taking into consideration the fact that
sharing politically charged links or debating issues online was a strict no no.
I apologise for not taking you into consideration especially when we’re neither
friends nor followers on the network. Thank you for making me realise that by
discussing and sharing such things publicly I have now become an advocate of
hatred. I didn’t realise that by discussing polarities and problematics that
are deeply ingrained in the structures of segregation which remain pervasive
today that I am calling for the reinforcement of these structures by way of
reversal. I had not at all realised this and am ever so grateful for your
contribution.
The Chimurenga quarterly once had a quote on the cover of their
magazine which read:
If white people did not invent air
what would we breathe?
And so I sit here today in awe of
your wisdom. Often you attack me on the social network and call me a reverse
racist, something or other and in the same conversation turn around and tell me
that not everything is about race. Or that I make everything about race. These
concepts of argument are far above my intellectual capacity. How does one make
everything about race if not everything is about race? I can only trust your
words and answers, as you are the main beneficiary of all socio-economic and
political opportunity; therefore the authority on the definitions of social
constructions. Only you understand what it means to wield power daily. Which is to say you are in charge of the line conversation should follow. What is allowed to be spoken about and what is not.
You see
Mr. Left, I think that what I have been failing to comprehend my entire life is that
regardless of class or privilege, I am a criminal not only in life but in thought itself. Perhaps I am criminal is a better statement too surmise this situation. I’ve actually heard this repeated to
me my entire life, but have failed to grasp the concept because of my inferior
intelligence towards social conformity.
What if I put it to you Mr. Left,
that perhaps that it is my educational background that is to blame of for my inability to
understand the fact that you and I are fundamentally different in effectual
capacity of socialisation?
More often than not, when you attack me on the
social wide web, you come from those school’s over a century old, named
after pious men with great virtue, whose only cause was to liberate the world
from ignorance and barbarism. Tamers of the world who had heeded the words of
Kipling to take up the White Man’s Burden.
You see Mr. Left, I am a product of the failing public school system and worse
yet am from Pretoria, which by and large is actually the leftest part of the
right. The school from which I received my highest educational qualification
has yet to even celebrate its third decade of existence and in its young life
has had to open itself to the very diversity that seems to be killing this
country. The kind of school where people from the wrong side of the bus line
(public transport ugh) are included via mandatory restructure. It’s this new
idea of an emerging equal society that says everyone deserves a fair
opportunity at success, even if public schools only breed followers and
employees. While your schools’ teach you to become employers and leaders and
the others included in the austerity
of your academia, understand the concept of a glass ceiling. What if I put to
you Mr. Left that perhaps all of this has resulted in my fascination with
uncouth topics of conversation such as the destruction of patriarchal power structures that
continue to subjugate and denigrate?
You see Mr. Left, what I have yet
to understand is the fact that not all white people or men are racist and the
fact that I think like this obviously makes me racist. I have been quite
inconsiderate for not trying to understand the Plight of the White. What I have
not taken into consideration Mr. Left is white suffering and pain. I am
appalled by my callousness and thank you again, for admonishing me for this. I
had completely forgotten that everyone else was used to pain and suffering and
therefore theirs was not in the same league as yours. I had forgotten the
confluence of forces that affect that hierarchy of lives, the sacred pyramid of
socio-political and economic importance. Brown people in poverty is not
an abnormality, it’s the regular tale of daily life, cause hey,
that’s just how the world is and there’s nothing wrong with that. I mean, if I
do say so myself we’re some of the poorest and happiest people on earth! Pain
is just normal for us! While you, as a white male are not used to being under siege
by people who want to rape and murder you like they do to each other on a daily basis.
I wonder Mr. Left, how it is in
the liberal bubble of debate. Like,
how did your parents view Mandela when he was a terrorist? What did they think
of him when he was shipped off in the prime of his life? What made them join in
the call for his freedom, when they realised he had become a nice old man in
jail, who understood what needed to happen in the country for us to move
forward? I mean at least he knew that there was a social order to the way the
world worked and that everything would descend into a state of anarchy if he
had just allowed the blacks to take over everything in the country. Instead he
understood the value of the white man and how much the white man loves and
values this country and its assets, including the immense supply of cheaper
labour.
Now I’m going to make a very large
assumption here Mr. Left, this is merely wild speculation and if I’m wrong
please do not (as if you would) hesitate to correct me. I assume that seeing as
you come from a generation of people who barely experienced Apartheid you get
quite annoyed and maybe even angered when black people from the very same
generation waddle around with a piece of persecution complex sticking out of
their ass crack. I imagine you ask yourself questions like:
What the fuck do these people who
grew up in the suburbs, who weren’t allowed to be legally beaten or arrested
have to complain about?
I assume Mr. Left you believe that
these people play the race card at every conceivable opportunity in order to
try and illicit some pity out of you for whatever agenda they have. I assume
that growing up in this generation of people, you might’ve gotten into that
Hip-Hop fad and are justifiably irritated to the point of anger that you’re not
allowed to use the word nigga. Even though these non-American black friends
whose ancestors never experienced slavery shoot off the word like an uzi in
South Central…so to speak. I mean you understand that the word has been
stripped of it’s meaning, and if we claim to be living in a non-racial society
why should there be words some people are allowed to use that white people can’t?
After all you’re not trying to use the word/s in an oppressive manner even if
your parents and naughty friends still do… I understand your frustration Mr.
Left I really do, I know that this inspires alcohol fuelled rants that leave
you very much exasperated by the existential turmoil the world has bestowed
upon you. The persecution of white heterosexual males, who’ve done nothing but
been born members of the elite Lucky Sperm Club.
You’ve attacked me quite often on
the social media Mr. Left, claiming that I’m a black racist and have gone so
far as to suggest that I may hate the gays as well. You tell me I need to be
saved and your anger is palpable. And if there’s one thing I’ve been taught to
fear my entire life is white male anger.
Really though, both personal and world history has told me to fear you. You
tell me that I need to be saved and that my jokes about white people are actually just
racist. I have no response to these accusations save to say that: my limited
span of brainpower does not compute this message. How does one who lives
without any real sense of agency, exercise a power that is able to disparage
and subdue an entire people who remain in hegemonic supremacy of an entire
world? Your clarity on this issue would help me immensely and possibly put an
end to my annual assaults at the hands of white males who believe that I have
too big a mouth or ask too many questions, instead of simply obeying and
following their instructions.
You see Mr. Left, whether you know
it or not, you’re still in
charge. These pants that I’m wearing now that you’ve replaced my loin skin
cloth, are a great signal of that. Random question: do you know that the police look at you and
I differently? When they see you, they see someone who needs protection and
service. When they see me, no matter what situation I’m in, they see the person
you need to be protected from and in service to you, arrest me. I think perhaps
this is why I sometimes get ahead of myself in dismissing your plight. But as
you’ve pointed out on numerous occasions it's not
your fault that your societal positions are products of centuries of (unacknowledged) theft,
rape and murder. Neither is it your fault that it seems that, that’s all black
people have learnt from history, and now not only practice these acts on
themselves but on you too.
I’m reminded of this everyday,
when I look in the mirror or have to remind myself not to stare too long at white people in
public and especially to keep my distance from white women. I’m reminded of
this when a white male celebrity can quite candidly explain shooting his
partner through a bathroom door because he believed that an intruder had been using it. Come to
think of it, I quite often wonder about where I would be today, had I decided
to give in to my genetic code and gone out for a little rape and murder, after all
I do live in Pretoria and the house isn’t that far from where I grew up.
Perhaps then Mr. Left, I would properly understand the reason that you are so
angry with me.
