I’m getting the itchy and restless feeling again. I don’t
know what it is but there’s something that tells me I need to do something. I need
to fucking make something. I want to make something. I’d like to make
something! But there’s only one thing stopping me from doing or making
anything! Firstly money! I’m probably the brokest kid from the burbs alive.
Money is the most elusive article in my life. I just don’t
know how to make any. I remember thinking at some stage of my life that some
bold headed jewish guy was going to show me the way to make the gold but alas
was once again reduced to the dop system and had to fight to get scraps for
shit I did for him. Then I moved onto an internship and fucked up a job that I was
being groomed for. Then there was the stay at home situation where I sat at
home and just tried to get fat off the free food. Now I’m working another internship
where at least I’m being given a monthly allowance. Thing is the place is not
giving me a sense of fulfillment. I just wanna create. I’m really tired of
putting shit together to aid middle class old white people choose their best
vacation options. I just wanna fucking create.
I kinda wish that the department of Arts and Culture was an
actual department in government that encouraged uncontrolled creativity. I kinda
wish that there were motherfuckers in South Africa that understood the value behind
making cool shit beyond advertising. I kinda wish that there was a bored
motherfucker with a squizmillion in his pocket waiting to off load that shit to
someone who had the simple intention of making cool shit. I kinda wish that my
friends and I could be given that squizmillion and get paid to talk and make
shit.
I then realize that I don’t necessarily deserve all the shit
that I kinda want. Cause I haven’t done enough. I haven’t executed half the
ideas I’ve had this year. Some of them haven’t even started. I haven’t made
anything that has made anyone’s mind bug before exploding; leaving bits of
their brain cells in my open mouth at their reception of my creation. I haven’t
proven that I’m able to stand heads above motherfuckers yet. I haven’t even put
the right shoes on to run the fucking race. All of that and the fact that I stay
drunk.
Is this the voice of the world’s worst hangover? A toast to
everyone out there actually creating instead of smack talking about how they
think it could be done better. Shut the fuck up, do and show.
