?

you don't have to be a genius to do rocket science but you do have to be rather diligent.

Rumour has it that Albert didn't work that method of science.

The Springboks Won Yesterday,

When I say I don't support the Springboks people take it personally.

"Why would you support the All Blacks? Those guys don't even care that you exist!"

"Is Morne Steyn or Bryan Habana aware of your existence?"

Stop taking it so personally, I don't hate the country, I hate it's Rugby and don't like most of it's rugby supporters. Springboks play winning rugby. twice the world champions and.... I don't know how much more ass kissing they need.

I hate Springbok rugby still. Am I not aloud to be an individual and enjoy the freedom of choice and speak my preference for the sort of rugby I enjoy to watch?

"You support the All Blacks why don't you just move to New Zealand then? Maybe they'll appreciate you there..." You're a FUCKING idiot I think, but I don't say. You know why? Cause I'm a fucking coward. Instead I smile and try bring up the history

Question: Who gives a flying fuck about history?

It's probably the aesthetic of the all blacks that I enjoy so much. Plus PE is considred the home for them whenever they play. Heinrich Brussouw crying tears of blood, while Luke was puking on the springbok jersey somewhere would He (Heinrich) have played under Jake's rule? Just asking.

They say that I'm too obsessed with race. Am I? There aren't any google images of Heinrich crying his blood tears so i'll use the all black logo which is actually capped.

For those who don't know that's Jerry Collins, Kevin Mealumu, Rodney So'oialo, Ali Williams, Dan The Man Carter and Sir Richard Mccaw. They need the titles cause their name's aren't enough.

oh yeah FUCK SRPINGBOK RUGBY AND ALL IT STANDS FOR

Yours Faithfully

Phumlani

ah

Get to the point of feeling what you suffer most then laugh about it, if you can't you're fucked. The more serious a person the more one has to dig to bury all their shit.

Who's got more line's than Dave?

Dave you and MC have more in common than your surname's :)

Who's the DJ here?

The crowd sits... Silence falls in awe of the gall that the muscle man figurine has to walking into the party...

Oh it's you?

He approaches a baffled little spectacle hunched in a corner over his black non apple device.

PC? That's cute... Listen I know you probably have good taste and what not, but can you please play me the song...

Laughter erupts through the lounge throwing the beef cake off. Realising for some reason that he's just walked into a house of people he doesn't know and hasn't even tried to introduce himself. He sniffs... courage makes it's way up his nostrils enough for introduction process making him forget about the David Guetta request he was still to request.

I'm Dane Hammer he says to the bemused faces beaming at him. (What is it about a smile that throws people off so much?)

"This guy's a dickhead" Says one of the dude's clicking his soft hand. Everyone laughs again and the vibrations in his nose force him to pipe up again.

Raaahht...(Right)

He says turning back to the rhythm enthusiast.

Is this really happening?

The people pipe up and start talking smack about the dude in the night light. Laughing at him live chucks. The stubborn plum tree pretends to catch joke's, slang and the occasional hand shake wondering the entire time if he started off on the wrong foot with the peoples.

I feel like things aren't going the way their supposed to here... so can I walk out and start again?

Being a bunch of motherfucker's that don't judge books by their cover's the group allows him to walk out the door to the flat and make his way back in.

Wasup my brothers...

That's his opener.

Dane Hammer should do standup at Vega Brand Communication College/School, in the alphabet c does come before S right?

Civilise yourselves!

and that's the way the world works.

The Baby of the Crew

22 years ago this guy came into being :), with super human powers.

Better than yours

"You talk so much shit! Don't you ever get tired?"- Every girl I know

I just had a phone conversation with a friend I haven't spoken to in ages. He's coming out of some serious shit and all we could do on the phone is talk smack.

"My asshole is my vagina."

We laugh over the phone and navigate the shit talk through the serious shit. Call it a coping mechanism.

Mine is better than yours.

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